Obligations and Wolves

I’m feeling under somewhat of an obligation to post something else on here. I created it for a reason right? And that reason was to have a place to dump my feelings. Well I’m not putting this to very good use am I? But my problem friends, is that I a don’t often allow myself to let my emotions build up to a point where I need to dump them. Not sure if that’s healthy or not…

I live in Wolf Time.

Wolf Time?

Yes. Wolf Time. You heard (read) me right folks. Let me explain, I try and mostly succeed in living my life in a way where, yes, I know that there are stressful/ confusing/ anxiety making things going on or coming up in the future but I live in the “now” and don’t let the things those problem-causing-things interrupt my life. I’ve gotten very good at it. I call it Wolf Time because wolves or other feral animals live in a way that prevents them from thinking about what you wish something was, they have no need for wishing- wishing doesn’t bring them food or shelter. They deal with what they have as absolute and don’t get depressed or stressed about what they had last year or what the wish they had. If its raining a wolf doesn’t angry at mother nature for bringing the rain he accepts it for what it is and lets it roll off his coat.

If impending doom is going to be making a house call to me next Thursday, I will do what I can to prepare for it but there comes a point where you can prepare no farther and you just have to wait. That’s when some people let themselves get stressed and lose sleep with the never ending waiting and wondering but for me that’s when I activate Wolf Time (Wolf Time to commence blast off in 10...9...8...). Then, when I meet impending doom on Thursday I say ‘ Hi sucks to meet you. Piss off’ and then I deal with the earthquakes it leaves behind.

This works for me most the time and lets me float through the stressful times in my life still getting enough sleep and being able to laugh. The downside is that sometimes it can leave me a little numb and sometimes it doesn’t work. I’m not some emotionally impervious brick wall. Sometimes things build up and break my dam and I cant live in wolf time anymore. It comes out quick and in a flood, it makes me feel brittle and porous and makes my heart twist.